"You're a Minimalist": The Dangers of Thrift Shops

Last night, we had a free downtown concert: a pretty great group called Bonerama. I ran into an acquaintance who is a financial adviser. She was telling me about a client who is going to have to sell her house because of massive debt, result of student debt and the vagaries of shopaholism. Her profession: physician. (And she went to LSU med school, which is reasonably priced, so it's not all tuition-related debt.). I said: Oh, how I wish I could coach these people through frugality. To which: Oh, but you're a minimalist.

You've got to be kidding. I stopped by Goodwill yesterday for some stress relief from a difficult Wednesday at work. I came out with the following: a bulky knit men's cardi from Banana Republic (dated 2012 inside), a somewhat vintage-y camel cashmere men's cardi from N. Peal of Scotland, a vintage men's Pendleton wool shirt jac (love these!). These were all for Mr FS. For me, I found a FLAX linen set: beige loose pants and a matching top. Oops. Almost forgot: men's Eddie Bauer down vest. Total: $18.00.

And I left behind a bunch of other stuff. You can see the problem. Do that once a week and over 200 items enter my abode.

Maybe the good doctor mentioned above faces financial ruin because of shopaholism (btw, she is in her 30s and so has time to recover from her disease). I think I may have thrift shopaholism.

Another Eileen Fisher Sale: Sorry!

I might have to change my blog name. Let's see: Someone Who Needs to Stop Obsessing About Everything and Buy More Things For Herself in Places other than Thrift Shops. That's it! Can I find a community in the blogosphere?

This morning, I bought two more Eileen Fisher tops. This is a test. I am afraid that it will be like falling off a cliff--like the blog tales of women who buy ONE Hermes bag and then accumulate another ten. That would be dangerous for me: I am but a teacher, with a teacher's salary. I still can't buy (or bring myself to buy) EF at retail. So I take an occasional spin through the Nordstrom site and the Eileen Fisher site.

Today, Eileen is having a 40% off sale on a few basic items. It goes through tomorrow night. I tried to order my tops and the site was having difficulties. I called up my frugal mojo and put in a call to Nordstrom, where the nice rep was happy to price match for me. We were commiserating about the high price of EF and how hard it is to find on sale. She said it flies out the door when on sale.

The Loneliness of the Frugal Neophyte

Not what you think. Not the typical lament of the newly frugal: My friends go out all the time and I don't want to spend the money. This is the opposite: I have saved enough to do something neat this week, but my friends don't have any money.

I am speaking of 20-something Frugal Son, with his worthy, but low-paying job. All his friends have equally low-paying jobs. Some are worthy; some are merely interim jobs before the next step. Frugal Son has developed his frugal chops, thanks to Mr FS and me. I do like to think that.

He does go out and about with friends. Lately, however, he has had to do some things solo, because none of his friends can afford to go with him.

Hence: a ticket to Cirque de Soleil.
Hence: a solo lunch at Galatoire's.
And even this.

$25 off and free shipping at Eileen Fisher, TODAY ONLY

This is a good enough deal to rouse me from my blogging slumber (aka overwork). If you read between the lines here, you know that I crave some of the Eileen Fisher basics, which elicit raves from various blogging luminaries. But self-knowledge (I am a spiller and ruin-er of things, occasional misplacer also) and extreme frugality ($100 plus for a rayon tank top!!!!) make me pause. It may just be that frugality is a nice word for extreme CHEEPITUDE.

For some reason (perhaps karmic forces in the universe?), I checked into the Eileen Fisher website last night. There I discovered that EF is having (today, March 23, is the last day) 30% off some pieces PLUS free shipping!!! Further research yielded a code--531900--for $25.00 off any purchase over $50. Today, March 23 ONLY. How's that for harmonic convergence?

So, readers, I found a tank top in the sale section. Baby steps. How about you?

If you are interested, get thee to EF.

Frugal B*tch: C'est Moi

Whoa. I haven't posted for a long time. No disasters, fortunately, just mind-numbing stress of various sorts. Accompanied by exhaustion. Just in case you're wondering or worrying: I am still frugal. Today, I am inspired to write because--while following my frugal path--I got the death stare from a few employees at Home Depot.

I was trying to buy a large utility shelf for Frugal Son. Poor guy. In addition to inheriting some good stuff from me (fast reader, good at taking standardized tests), he also inherited my extreme problems with order and clutter. After reading a zillion books, I kind of know what to do, but--as always--the divide between theory and praxis remains. If someone had told me about all these things when I was in my 20s, I would have kissed their feet. Frugal Son, however, is extremely resistant to advice, something he inherited from my father, another slob.

Frugal Son lives in a tiny space with a tiny closet (maybe 3 feet wide) and hardly any other storage space. And people of our ilk don't hang things up anyway--we drop. So I bought Frugal Son 2 overdoor hooks (wonderful!).

Then I told him I was getting him a utility shelf for his birthday. He actually did not refuse this time. I went to Home Depot armed with the knowledge that they had 9 in stock. When I got there--10 minutes later--I could find but two, both broken.

I summoned three employees. After looking everywhere, they found a display model. I asked about the other 6. "I guess we need to update the computer inventory." UGH. I said that I checked so that I wouldn't waste time and that I felt I deserved a discount on the floor model. To which the youngest employee said, "We'll give you a discount if you get us a raise." To which I (inspired) said, "You're getting paid for being here. I am losing money by not being at work." This silenced the young sassy one.

I once again asked the oldest employee if I could have a discount, and he agreed! So $35 reduced to $20. Mollified, I said, "I'm sorry if I seemed a little crabby." To which: SILENCE. And a DEATH STARE. And eyes that said "B*TCH." He hated me.

Whatever. I love the shelf!

By the way, overdoor hooks and a utility shelf are two of the most useful organizing devices for hopeless cases. I learned that from a wonderful genius, whose books I have recommended before.




P.S. Many thanks to readers who left comments during my long silence.

Helping Adult Children Buy Houses: A Little Disclosure

There are so many issues involved, some of which were brought up in the comments to my last post. One has to think of one's own finances, especially retirement. One has to worry about creating dependency: The Millionaire Next Door authors talk about how Economic Outpatient Care weakens adult children and leads to less productivity. And: what about the other kid?

Well, who knows about retirement. Will we have enough? I have no idea. But my frugal chops are well-developed.

As for dependency: so far Frugal Son seems quite independent in his actions, especially considering how low his income is.

As for the other kid: both kids have similar profiles, for which see below.

The reason I am thinking about this is that--after almost 5 years of severe despondency and throwing my 403b statements in a box unopened, I took a peek recently and things seem OK, at least till the next bubble. When I say I, I mean we, by the way. I just do most of the planning, while Mr FS does the gardening, painting, and home and car maintenance. Since we are both frugal by nature and nurture, and because we fantasized about sending the two children to PRIVATE LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGES, we saved and saved, even as the cost of college soared at double the rate of inflation. We even started a 529 account, in which we amassed room and board expenses for four years, because we knew that if our children chose an in-state public institution, tuition would be free via the TOPS program.

As it happened, the dear children weren't as enamored of the private colleges as we were (perhaps there is a lesson there). They received some merit aid at private colleges. Each child also received room and board scholarships on top of tuition at public colleges. For that, we can all thank the test-taking gods or the fact that the children had genetic material from two families with good test takers. (Mr FS told me long ago that his older brother had perfect SATS. I have not independently verified this claim.) They each chose a public institution. Each is happy with that choice.

So, if you have been reading with any attention, you may have figured out that the 4 years of room and board fees remain untouched. Mr FS said "Why not let the kids share in the consequences of their choices?" I say, "No one would question our having spent this money on room and board or a car when they were in college, etc etc."

My musings will continue...

And, if you haven't read this, you should. It was a life changer for me.

Real Estate Plan: Am I Crazy??

Frugal Son is loving New Orleans. He's also loving working in a school. He has a starter job at a bilingual school and is working on a fast track teacher certification. So, my newest plan is to help him buy a house, to take advantage of the low interest rates and still low-ish housing prices. Frugal Son is still young enough to take in a roommate to help pay the rent.

Am I crazy? Fave blogger Funny About Money has had many tales of woe concerning the house she bought with her son a number of years ago. Does anyone have tales of caution? Advice? Logistical issues?

One of Frugal Son's friends opines that New Orleans has a high culture to cost ratio. It also has a high beauty to cost ratio.

Frugal Son sent some links to available real estate. Even a teacher in New Orleans can have 12 foot ceilings, heart pine floors, and floor-to-ceiling windows. Some of the houses are doubles!

For some reason, I can no longer get the links on properly. So just google New Orleans architecture!

Are we crazy??