Frugality: Is it Fun?

I wrote a followup to my post on selling excess clothing on Tradesy. I received a rather horrified comment from Shelley to the effect that all this "in and out" made her head spin. She seemed to marvel that I found it fun.

But I do. So does at least one other blogger--Frugalshrink--who is doing similar things not because she has to, but because she likes to.

My family of 4 spends less than $1000 a year on clothing (not all is 2nd hand). I still treat both my 20something kids in this department because I have the time to do it. It is a major component of my frugal practice.

The other component is killer grocery shopping, sans coupons, but keeping an eye out and stocking up. This must work because I occasionally have to institute a "shopping fast" in this area and use up the stuff in my freezer. I mentioned in a blog comment the other day that my family has always spent well under the food stamp budget--not that I even knew what that budget was till recently.

My Partner in Frugality--Mr FS--would break out in hives doing my above fun activities (though he sometimes accompanies me on walks to a nearby grocery store). His frugal practices involve doing all the yard work and fixing whatever can be fixed. 

There are zillions of ways to be frugal. Read The Tightwad Gazette for ideas. Or check out the relevant chapter in Your Money of Your Life. 

My parents were pretty frugal when I was growing up (and my parents were self-employed for many years, which necessitates careful budgeting). They pretty much stopped when they moved to a fun golf community in Florida (at the exact ages of me and Mr FS!!!). I guess frugality wasn't fun for them.

I'm kind of curious to see how I may change in the frugal department when I retire. In graduate school (talk about stressful days!) I was frugal by necessity. Now, I am frugal by choice. That is the greatest luxury as far as I'm concerned. I don't think I would do it if it weren't fun.

Do my frugal adventures sound like fun to you or do they evoke "the horror! the horror!"? Do YOU think frugality can be fun?

A Less Frugal, But Still Very Frugal Day in New Orleans

I've been wanting to write about my vow to be somewhat LESS frugal going forward. You see, I turned 60 recently. I'm too old for early retirement. What I do in the next five years in the frugal department won't make that big a difference. My house is paid off; my kiddos are done with college.

It's hard to change old habits. Actually, I think I may be hard-wired for frugality.

Yesterday, my family of three (Frugal Son is elsewhere) went to New Orleans.

First stop: Buffalo Exchange with bunch of stuff.

Next stop: Palace Cafe for the special summer Temperature Lunch, where you get a soup/salad and entree for the preceding day's high temp!

Third Stop: New Orleans Museum of Art, free for residents on Wednesdays.

Fourth Stop: We had parked at Canal Place, an upscale shopping venue. If you buy something, you get reduced parking.  We got a coffee at Starbucks.

Outcomes

Buffalo Exchange: Oops! Accidentally brought a box full of intended discards. This box lowered the "look" of our good stuff. Plus, the buyer stopped after 10 minutes to take an Advil, which didn't kick in till after she was finished. More plus, the young woman selling next to us--who looked like nothing special--had brought in boxes of Louboutin shoes and Chanel boots (among other upscale stuff), which further downgraded our items. Still, we got almost $70, even after Miss Em used some of the credit on a lovely tunic.

Palace Cafe: Pretty good but very noisy. Salad was Caesar; soup was red bean, main was chicken and dumplings. I don't think I'd go for regular price because there are much better options in NOLA. The high temperature was 89 degrees, so each lunch was $8.90. We were too full for a real dinner.

Museum: Two wonderful special exhibits, one on the Spanish-American home and one on the murals at Talledega College.

Canal Place: We ran into the person who watched our house while we were gone! A pleasant surprise.

I asked Miss Em how I was doing on getting the pathological out of my frugality. She started laughing. A good day all in all.

Frugal Duolingo: Progress Report

Like many, I spend too much time noodling around on the internet. Since noodlers are the product being delivered to advertisers (via blog links and those tempting ads that track your habits), I occasionally succumb to the "good deals" that pop up. I am a weakling for bargains, even if my spending remains in control. I waste a lot of time and add to the clutter with which I always struggle.

I have been trying to shift my noodling from Nordstroms to Duolingo. I am not always successful, but I am wasting a lot less time. After my initial rush of success, my progress is slowing down. I have trouble with some negatives and some adverbs. And, unlike my French teachers M. Giordano and M. Moore (how I wish I could thank them), Duolingo does not give partial credit. How awful to hear the buzz of failure for a careless error--like saying "the" instead of "that"--in a lesson on adverbs, even when you get the adverb right. I never thought I would miss the mere quarter point deducted by my red-pen-wielding French teachers for each tiny mistake.

Duolingo rewards you with virtual currency of lingots. So far, I have not spent any, not because I am a natural saver (though I am), but because I am not really motivated by the gamification of the site. I am, however, motivated by the percentage that pops up: according to the site, I can now read 45.7% of French articles. I can actually read more, because my French goes beyond the lessons I've completed.

I have spent more than thirty years lamenting the deterioration--the near demise, probably--of my French. Last year, Miss Em said "How much French did you have?" I answered "Four years."

I should say that this was four years of the excellent New York State Regents program. My high school French enabled me to pass out of French via placement exam not only in college, but in graduate school. If I hadn't left high school after my third year and had taken French my senior year, I would have read Madame Bovary along with my class.

The wise Miss Em said "Then it will take you four years to get it back." It's looking like it will take me a lot less than that.

The French has become more of a struggle ("une lutte"--wow! popped right into my head!). I was doing a lesson in my office and a colleague dropped by. When I told him what I was doing (and this fellow is a trained linguist), he said "Why do you want to do that?"

But I do; I do.

Frugality Index: many lingots stashed away PLUS less money spent on the "bargains" that bombard us on the internet.

St Patrick's Lost and Found: Geaux Saints

As we await our certified letter's redelivery, we continue to suffer dental stress and distress. How about St Patrick's Day (and the traditional New Orleans parade the Saturday preceding) as a stress-reliever? Celebrations were marked by things lost and found, but the stress of the lost was far outweighed by the de-stress and delight of the found. This is turning out to be a year of saintly interventions: I can now add St Patrick to St Anthony (the prayer of a thrift store customer to St Anthony led to immediate recovery of my grandmother's bracelet.) As the signs and tee shirts of football fandom proclaim in New Orleans:

THE LOST: The New Orleans St Patrick's Day parade is huge and noted for its throws: in addition to the usual beads and flowers, spectators vie for cabbages, potatoes, and carrots. So exciting! A frugal parade! Unfortunately, the parade was running rather late and Mr FS and I had to head home before the big floats with the cabbage-givers rolled by. Not to worry: we had Frugal Son in attendance. He wanted cabbage for his homemade kimchi, which is not a traditional Irish recipe. But Poor Frugal Son. He had a bag of seven cabbages. He walked a few steps away for a few seconds to say hello to a friend. When he turned around, the bag was gone. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

THE FOUND: As our group of four crossed Magazine Street en route to our chosen parade spot, I felt eyes upon me. I looked into the eyes of a young man. We were locked in a stare. Finally, he mouthed "Dr Frugal???" I ran over and he gave me a hug, reminding me that he had taken classes from me. I asked him to remind me of his name and he said "My name is Josh, but you always called me another name, which you said suited me better." As we walked away, I retrieved my memory from the file cabinet in my brain. Josh was a psychology major who took one of the dreaded (to many students) required literature courses. He was very smart and more interested than most. He fell in love with Paradise Lost and always vowed he would take a Milton course if it was offered while he was in school. A few years later, the course was offered and--lo and behold--there he was. He held his own with the advanced English majors too.

As we walked back from our stint at the parade, we came to Magazine Street once more. And there he was again. He came over and said "I always loved you as a teacher." And I said "I always loved you as a student." Another hug and then I remembered. I said, "Isn't funny? I always called you PATRICK."

LOST AND FOUND: A few years ago, I was whining in this very space about how I wanted a second Hermes scarf. Amazingly, a blogger with a beautiful spirit sent me one and, also amazing, it arrived on my birthday. The scarf was designed by Kermit Oliver, the only American to design Hermes scarves. When you read about him and view his artwork, it is clear that he too has a beautiful spirit. In addition to gifting the world with remarkable images, he has suffered tragedy beyond my efforts to process. Any powers of empathy I possess are not sufficient.

This scarf has come in handy. I wear it when I teach Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, whose plot hinges on the gift of a green scarf. I also wear it on St Patrick's Day. And when I looked for it in my scarf area, IT WAS NOT THERE. I looked and looked. Even though I am a certified slob, I always keep my two Hermes scarves in their place. This one is especially valued because of the giver and because of the artist.

I suffered through several hours before and after work of looking in various unlikely places. Then I found it. It had slipped from its spot (HOW???), crossed to the other side of a small closet, and ended up next to Mr FS's socks. Oh, how I hugged that precious piece of silk to me! Just like poor Sir Gawain, for whom, unlike for me, taking the scarf was a sin.

I'd say that in the LOST AND FOUND of St Patrick's celebrations, I have received much more than I lost. Frugal Son mentioned that the mom of one his friends might give him a few cabbages from her parade stash. So we may have kimchi after all.

A Luxe Moment from My Travels: Frugal, Of Course

I've been wanting to write about some of the more emotional aspects of my recent trip to middle and eastern Europe. Miss Em said Ummmmm. That's not really about frugality, is it? Good point. I do tend to wander. So I may have to start ANOTHER blog I won't have time to keep up with.

So: ON TOPIC. We were exceedingly frugal on this trip, perhaps because we kept detailed records of spending for the first time. In fact, I think we need to add a bit more luxe on the next trip. However, luxe moments do crop up, sometimes unexpectedly.

Moment 1 in BUDAPEST. We walked over the Danube from the Buda side to the Pest side. There, in all its renovated glory is one of the top architectural sights--and sites--in Budapest.The magnificent art nouveau Gresham Palace, now a hotel. Mr FS and I peered in, but felt a little timid and self-conscious, shabby even. Then we saw people even more shabby. They marched in and so did we. Our leaders were tourists, as we were. Then we noticed that the guests were just as shabby--typical tourist dress, with broken-in shoes. I realized that--as in the USA--hotel lobbies are public spaces. Public spaces have bathrooms. This is no big deal in my home country, but in Budapest--and elsewhere in the big world--bathrooms are hard to find and may require payment. Shocking to Americans!

Mr FS remembered that he had seen a website featuring public bathrooms in Budapest. Just in case you are IN the hotel right now, here are the provided directions:
In the Gresham Palace Hotel walk in the main entrance and then towards the reception desk. Turn left into the major hallway as you approach the desk and the toilets are on your right.

By golly, it worked! What a bathroom! All marble. Truly over the top paper towels. Mr FS asked me if the towels were really paper. We brought one home as a souvenir (is that ethical?--sorry, if it's a breach). We made a point of stopping by the bathroom whenever we were nearby--maybe thrice more. The sense of luxe never wore off.

Next luxe moment: previewing a celebrity, almost royal wedding.

Paris, Budapest, Vienna, Prague: TBYM

We returned lat night from our longest trip ever, a dream trip of cities, three heretofore unvisited, including the city of my mother's birth. How did we pay for it? Being mere teachers and all. Who haven't had a raise in at least five years? The short answer is always the same: FRUGALITY. The longer answer is TBYM.

TBYM. That means TRAVEL BELOW YOUR MEANS. The term is adopted from the familiar LBYM, a cornerstone of frugal living, early retirement, and the like: LIVE BELOW YOUR MEANS. So when I hear about the snazzy lodgings and luxe restaurant meals of other tourists of my acquaintance, I'm not jealous for more than a few minutes. We are trading a long vacation for a shorter--and perhaps more intense--one.

The rough stats:

Airfare and inter-city transport: a bit under $3000. OUCH. I do envy people who can rack up big frequent flyer numbers through business cards and the like. I am not one of those people.

Lodging: Thank you internet for AirBandB and similar. We paid between $38 (Budapest) and $70 (Vienna) per night. Our apartment in Paris was teeny and probably below the acceptability level of many people reading this. We thought it was fine. These little apartments had washers and--most important--kitchens, so

Food: OK, my kids say we should go out more. Still, I LIKE cooking and I loved figuring out how to use the unfamiliar ingredients of Eastern Europe. So we ate chez nous mostly, just like at home. The best thing we ate: some strawberries in Prague.

Yeah, the numbers added up, but not as much as you would think. We're going to start saving for next year!

Do you TBYM?

"You're a Minimalist": The Dangers of Thrift Shops

Last night, we had a free downtown concert: a pretty great group called Bonerama. I ran into an acquaintance who is a financial adviser. She was telling me about a client who is going to have to sell her house because of massive debt, result of student debt and the vagaries of shopaholism. Her profession: physician. (And she went to LSU med school, which is reasonably priced, so it's not all tuition-related debt.). I said: Oh, how I wish I could coach these people through frugality. To which: Oh, but you're a minimalist.

You've got to be kidding. I stopped by Goodwill yesterday for some stress relief from a difficult Wednesday at work. I came out with the following: a bulky knit men's cardi from Banana Republic (dated 2012 inside), a somewhat vintage-y camel cashmere men's cardi from N. Peal of Scotland, a vintage men's Pendleton wool shirt jac (love these!). These were all for Mr FS. For me, I found a FLAX linen set: beige loose pants and a matching top. Oops. Almost forgot: men's Eddie Bauer down vest. Total: $18.00.

And I left behind a bunch of other stuff. You can see the problem. Do that once a week and over 200 items enter my abode.

Maybe the good doctor mentioned above faces financial ruin because of shopaholism (btw, she is in her 30s and so has time to recover from her disease). I think I may have thrift shopaholism.

The Loneliness of the Frugal Neophyte

Not what you think. Not the typical lament of the newly frugal: My friends go out all the time and I don't want to spend the money. This is the opposite: I have saved enough to do something neat this week, but my friends don't have any money.

I am speaking of 20-something Frugal Son, with his worthy, but low-paying job. All his friends have equally low-paying jobs. Some are worthy; some are merely interim jobs before the next step. Frugal Son has developed his frugal chops, thanks to Mr FS and me. I do like to think that.

He does go out and about with friends. Lately, however, he has had to do some things solo, because none of his friends can afford to go with him.

Hence: a ticket to Cirque de Soleil.
Hence: a solo lunch at Galatoire's.
And even this.

Happy Hour Food: Frugal Joie de Vivre

Mr FS and I are starting to go out to eat a bit more. Yes, one child out of college, the other almost out. We need to have more fun. The problem with going out to eat: it is expensive and sometimes it's bad. Frugal Son says that an occasional bad meal is an inevitable part of the overall experience. Unfortunately, we had a disappointing meal right off the bat at Brigtsen's, a New Orleans institution that gets ecstatic reviews on various sites. Oh well, but at over $100, I was miserable.

One good way to eat in restaurants without wasting $140.00 is to check out the Happy Hour offerings. We are going to visit Miss Em soon and she suggested we go to Happy Hour at Epiphany. The small plates are half price! Luckily for all of us, we have the metabolism of a 6 year old: we get very hungry very early and don't like to eat big dinners. This wouldn't work for a more European metabolism. I guess you could have a second dinner at 9 pm.

Check out the offerings. How will we choose? Have you found Happy Hours at your local restaurants? And--which 3 dishes would you pick?


Small Plates

Bread Service (Buhl, AL)
Whipped Berkshire Pork Butter and
Housemade Brown Sugar Bread
3(per Couple)

Steak and Eggs* (Cottondale,AL)
48 Hr Short Rib, Potato Hash, Rena's Soft Farm Egg
10

Pickled PEI Mussels
Basil, Warm Bread, Good Olive Oil
10

Housemade Local Berkshire Pork Sausage ( Buhl, AL)
Good People Brown Ale Mustard, Fried Brussels, Radish
9.5

Snows Bend Turnips (Coker, AL)
American Caviar, Tat Soi, Nori Powder
11

Oysters and Bacon (Appalachicola, FL)
Braised Bacon, Radish, Soy Caramel, Peach,
12

Snow's Bend Butternut Squash Soup (Coker, AL)
Red Curry ,Coconut, Apple, Bon Secour Shrimp
9

Organic Greens and Peach Salad (Coker,AL)
Benton's Country Ham, Coconut Milk Vinaigrette, Feta
9.5

Asher Blue Cheese Salad (Thomasville, GA)
Greens, Apple, Buttermilk Vinaigrette, Pumpkin Seed Oil
9

“Shrimp and Grits” (Bon Secour , AL)
McEwen and Son's Polenta, Dashi, Bacon
12

Rena's Farm Egg* (Cottondale, AL)
Farm Egg, Braised Bacon, Hon-shimeji Mushrooms, Kalamata Olive “Soil”
10



Baked Stones Hollow Goat Cheese (Buhl, AL)
Yellow Beets, Leek Ash, Purple Basil
11

Hay Smoked Scallop Crudo*
Cocoa Nib, Kumquat, Shaved Peach, Radish, Tat Soi
11

Oak Hill Beef Carpaccio* (Eutaw, AL)
Horseradish, Local Arugula, Salsa Verte
11

Local Cheese Tasting (AL)
Red Hill Cheddar, AA Creamery Cheeses, Warm Bread, Fruit
14


Local Vegetables and Sides

Katie Farms Roasted Sweet Potatoes (Coker,AL)
Berkshire Pork Fat, Kim Chi, Soy, Hot Sauce
7

McEwen and Son's Polenta* (Wilsonville, Al)
Rena's Farm Egg, Stones Hollow Goat Cheese, Maple
8

Miso Creamed Corn (Coker, AL)
Red Curry, Coconut Milk, Hot Peppers
7

Fried Brussel Sprouts (Coker, AL)
Snow's Bend Lardo, Peach, Soy
8

Local Collards (Coker, AL)
Ginger, Soy, Red Chili, Brown Sugar
7

Dinner for the Omnivorous, Vegetarian, and Vegan Masses: Couscous

Mr FS and I just returned from a very pleasant visit to Alabama. We went to an awards ceremony, saw a play, and visited a big student project. We also served dinner to a bunch of Miss Em's friends. We did this last time we visited and I think it is a tradition.

We wanted to use some lamb gifted to us by one of Miss Em's friends. So we decided on couscous. This turned out to be a good choice because dinner was on Friday during Lent (oops! not an observer) and a few guests had given up meat and one had given up all animal products. Since we were running around and cooking in a strange and ill-equipped kitchen, we wanted to make a dinner that could pretty much be assembled quickly.

The Lamb: I braised some lamb shoulder at home and froze some meat and drippings.
The Veggie Stew: I brought frozen roasted onions. I flung these into a pan nonchalantly. Then I added a bag of the mixed veggies on sale at Publix. I stirred this around for a bit (wishing the wok had a lid; it did not) then added a large can of tomatoes and some drained chickpeas. I threw in some raisins and dried apricots.

I borrowed some cinnamon, cumin, and honey from the host kitchen and sprinkled them in.


Mr FS did the couscous (couscous plus water).

Can you find the single screw up? According to the vegan, honey counts as an animal product. He ate the stew anyway, but I did feel bad.

Except for the lamb--a priceless gift--this was an inexpensive dinner. There were at least 9 people there. How wonderful to provide a FREE FOOD OPPORTUNITY for starving college students.

Any ideas for the next visit?

Couscous is very expensive where we live, so we buy it from Amazon. You may have better sources. It is so cheap in Canada and France. Why????

Frugal Treats and Celebrity Sighting: While Saving for Hermes Scarf or Whatever

So much advice on how to save money focuses on Just say no. But such advice is so dreary. So many treats are within reach.

Today, in honor of the arrival (finally) of Miss Em for her vacation, we went to New Orleans.

First stop: Whole Foods to use the bathroom, buy some fruit, and check out the samples. Cost: a couple of dollars.

Second stop: While on Magazine Street, which has a somewhat European vibe with its small shops, Miss Em and I (with the shop-averse Mr FS reluctantly tagging along) went into two shops to hone our aesthetic sense. We went to Pied Nu (great name!) to look at items by John Derian. Then, we looked at Hazelnut, one of whose owners is Bryan Batt of Madmen fame.

While I was trying to show Miss Em the bowl I would like to buy if I ever get the house sufficiently in order, she got distracted. There was Bryan Batt on the sidewalk right outside. So we said hi and shook pinkies, because he was carrying a tray.

Third stop: Buffalo Exchange, where I waited on line to unload some Goodwill mistakes. Meanwhile. Miss Em did her shopping. Mr FS (poor guy) went for a walk and then read in the car. Sorry! Miss Em found two tops and two holiday gifts for friends. We still went home with $92.00 from the Buf boxes.

Fourth Stop: St James Cheese. OMG. this place is amazing. We weren't that hungry, so we shared two sandwiches from the menu. Which would you have chosen?

Oh and what would you rather see: a sandwich or Bryan Batt?

Total Spent: Around $25.
Total "Earned": Around $120.00.

Museum Memberships: Reciprocal Memberships, a Frugal Bonus

Back when I was an art-loving high school student, I joined the Museum of Modern Art. Later. I belonged to the Art Institute of Chicago. One good thing about joining museums--if you live close by--is that you tend to use the membership a lot. At least I did.

I haven't joined anything--except a Children's Museum--for a long time. Then--BINGO!--my one and only Groupon purchase was a membership to the Ogden Museum in New Orleans. The main draw was Ogden After Hours, which features performances on Thursday nights. I am embarrassed to say that we haven't made use of the membership yet. BUT WE WILL.

However, we will be going to San Antonio soon to attend a conference. We love San Antonio! I was exploring the museum situation. We will be there on a Thursday night, which is free night at the wonderful McNay Museum, which is in a beautiful house (now much augmented) in a beautiful setting.

Then--and I don't know how I thought of doing this--I checked the Ogden, to see if there were reciprocal memberships. BINGO once more! The Museum of Texan Cultures.

We've been to San Antonio numerous times and love it. If you are ever there, and are feeling poor, know that it has wonderful fast food, which will set you back about $5.00.

So, check your museum memberships. Often, you can get free admission to other museums. Frugal culture!

Do you belong to any museums?