Elderly Parents and Overspending: Responsibilities

Ahhhhhh. Since my anonymity has long since been compromised . . . an embarrassing topic. What do you do when you see an elderly parent overspending?

My mother is 81. My father, who handled all the money, died almost three years ago, during the depths of the economic meltdown. Three days after he died, my mother got an accountant (a neighbor). Four days after that, she put half her money into the hands of an advisor, recommended by the accountant. The other half is in TIAA-CREF. The advisor has been urging her to take that money out and let him manage it. The advisor has not told either her or me (I asked him directly) how he is compensated. He did tell me that he and his wife made $700,000 in 2007.

Anyway, my mother has been totally transparent about her assets. I noticed that she is taking more than 10% from the TIAA account. I told her that is not a sustainable withdrawal rate, even for an 81 year old.

I don't want to go into the details of her spending at the moment. I did get her to call someone at TIAA, who told her that her money would run out in 9 years.

I guess it's good that I'm pathologically frugal! My mother gets angry at me as the bearer of bad news. My un-frugal sibling said that the advisor seems like a great guy!

So...what does one do when one sees an elderly parent overspending? Any advice would be appreciated.

Cheap Chic for Your Home: Burlap and Indian Print Spreads

Aside from de-cluttering, which is free, are there any home decor items that are truly frugal? I've been giving this some thought and there don't seem to be many candidates.

Years ago, in a small town in Michigan, the town librarian bragged about her chair that cost a quarter. Further questioning uncovered the fact that she spent $250.00 on fabric and labor for reupholstery. This was in 1986.

A few years ago, one of the rich ladies in my town insisted that her couch only cost $250.00 to reupholster. After a bit, I figured out that this was exclusive of fabric.

In other words, I remain skeptical. Often, what you save in money, you spend in time, which is why antique dealers often have so much neat stuff: they spend all their time shopping.

So here are my candidates.

1. Burlap: This costs only a few dollars a yard. i first saw burlap curtains at a fancy shop in my town. It is still going strong and looks amazingly like linen (to me).

2. Indian print Bedspreads. These are still handblocked. Strangely, the French provencal fabric we all swoon over was originally made as a cheaper copy of the pricy Indian imports. Of course, this was over 100 years ago.

Two questions: can you think of anything else that would qualify?

And also: where can you buy Indian print spreads nowadays? They used to be available on every street corner, but no more.

Free Music and Free Enterprise

We were lucky to notice that--contrary to the info from my source--Museum Day for New Orleans was yesterday, September 24. When I figured this out, we jumped into the car and hightailed it to the New Orleans Museum of Art, where we saw an interesting show of religious figures from India.

That left today free for another free cultural opportunity: Musica di Camera, an early music group, will be performing for free at a nearby Abbey.

The Abbey is a beautiful place. The church has some incredible murals, painted in the 30s (I think) and recently restored. One of my friends worked there during the restoration and I got to meet the art restorers--an itinerant husband-wife duo.

You may have heard of this place: it has been much in the news because the Louisiana Funeral Directors sued the monastery: asserting that it was against state law to sell monk-made coffins. The monks are winning so far, but the case is destined--so it says in the news--for the Supreme Court.

Two cultural events in one weekend. What bliss. Did you have any wonderful experiences this weekend?

My Bad! Museum Day is Sept 24 and Sept 25

My "source" was mistaken. Anyway, we're off to the big city to see a show. Link is in previous post.

Cheap (FREE!) Culture: Smithsonian Museum Day

Have all you (USA) residents heard about Smithsonian Museum Day? Museum Day is Sunday 9/25 and scads of museums all over the US are participating. You can check what museums are participating in your area and print out a free ticket for 2 on the Museum Day site. You can see the link here.

Is anyone taking advantage of this?

Garnet Hill 25% off Everything (almost) and another sale...

Is 25% off frugal? Only if it's something you need or really want that doesn't normally go on sale. Garnet Hill, the catalog whose aesthetic I have been swooning over for more than 20 years, is celebrating reaching its Facebook goal--with a 25% off all full-priced merch AND free shipping. TODAY ONLY. YOU MUST LINK THROUGH FACEBOOK PAGE.

Am I going to buy anything? No. Yes, I swoon over the Eileen Fisher and the boots, but I am TOOOOO CHEEEEEEEP. However, if I was also swooning over some of the furniture, this would be a good time to buy, since it never goes on sale.

Also, my bete noire--Chico's--has a bunch of stuff for $9.99. Plus, there's a code for 20% off everything right at the top of the page. Site is down right now, so you'll have to link yourself.



You did it! With your help, our Facebook community has grown to 35,000! As a thank you for spreading the word, take 25% off all full-price items AND get FREE SHIPPING through Thursday, September 22*, just click through the link below and your discount will be automatically adjusted in your shopping cart! Keep sharing us with your friends --- the more, the merrier and watch for other exciting things coming to Facebook in the coming months! http://bit.ly/p2eIy8

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A Gift from singlemomrichmom: Early Retirement Extreme

Waiting on my doorstep: a package from Canada. Hmmmmm. Yes! A book sent to me by the great blogger singlemomrichmom: her copy of the fascinating tome by the very interesting Jacob, of earlyretirementextreme.

I'm thrilled to have the book. Jacob brings the brains of a physicist to questions about how we might want to live. For a taste of his way of thinking: he has a post titled not How much do you need to retire, but How little do you need to retire?

I'm probably too old to retire very early, plus I like my job. Still, it's inspiring to see what one can do.

So thanks to Jacqjolie for her generosity. Check out her blog: it's a great read.